One of my favorite dating memories from college was when
Kevin surprised me by secretly buying a Valentines’ Day singing telegram. It
was not something that anyone expected from a shy introvert like Kevin, so he
had me fooled.
It was 2009. Our busy college lives seemed to keep us apart
rather than together, so a date night was heavenly. I turned off my
ever-buzzing phone and took a deep breath in the booth at Applebee’s. Suddenly,
a group of three guys barged into the restaurant searching for us. Rick, one of
the loudest and craziest students on campus, stomped through the rows wearing a
life-size Cupid costume. Diaper included. He brought his goons along, carrying
a boom box in one hand, and a dozen roses in the other. My face reddened and I
could not believe my eyes. Rick set the CD player on the table, handed me the
flowers and pressed play. “And IIIIIIII will always love yooouuuu!” The three college
bachelors howled through the Whitney Houston song for a very long minute,
drawing the attention of tables all around. My boyfriend hired these horrendous
songbirds to come serenade me? I filled the air with laughter. The boys
accepted the gracious applause from me and other amused patrons, bowed and took
their leave. Kevin’s wide smile told me that this was exactly what he wanted.
Flashing back to May of 2007; Kevin Patton and I didn’t fall
in love at first sight. But we were happy to meet each other for the first time.
I hopped out of a mini-van and shook his hand. I had heard stories about him
because he was best friends with my then boyfriend who lived in the same dorm. We
put a face with a name and left it at that. Little did I know, we would become
the three musketeers during the fall semester when I moved to campus as a
freshman at Tennessee Temple University in Chattanooga, Tennessee.
I quickly merged into the boys’ core group of friends. I
observed Kevin at a safe distance nearly every day. He was a mysteriously quiet
kid with occasional sarcastic quips under his sleeve. He wore simple collared
shirts, a brown track jacket and carpenter jeans. It didn’t take long to
discover how much we had in common and how comfortable we were in each other’s
presence. I loved the freedom of running around the greens with a bunch of
college dudes, playing Ultimate Frisbee and football every spare afternoon.
The coffee shop held our Three Musketeer lunches at least
twice a week. Boyfriend. Girlfriend. And non-awkward third wheel. I begged my
class to finish quicker so I could prance across the street and order my greasy
hamburger. The friendship between us three was real and very special. We joked
and laughed constantly, and they also both helped me spiritually. At 18 years
old, I had a list of neatly stacked theological questions on a turquoise paper
that I went through with them. Leaving my hometown pushed me to think for
myself, and I needed to tackle doubt head on. The boys were patient with me and
didn’t hand me straight up answers. They probed my questions with more
questions and challenged me to be okay with not knowing the answers.
I can only imagine my reaction if someone from the future
had walked up to my table and announced:
“Kim. You aren’t going to marry him” pointing at my
boyfriend…
“You are going to marry him” pointing at Kevin Patton.
I would have grunted in disbelief. What? That’s insane.
There’s no way.
One night as our little group walked to the girls’ dorm for
Open Dorms night, Kevin mentioned a passage in the New Testament regarding
women. His theological explanation stuck out to me as more profound than just a
regular college kid. I saw a glimpse of the depth in Kevin’s thought process
and it stopped me in my tracks. After Open Dorms, I scribbled an after-thought
in my journal about Kevin. I mentioned what he said and then confidently wrote,
“His wife is going to be so lucky.” I had NO idea that the lucky one would be
me. In five short months, Kevin would shuffle from the background to center
stage.
One day at dinner, Kevin was casually asked to fill in for
Bible Study on Thursday. The Bible Study was normally an acoustic-driven, discussion-based
hour. Kevin jumped at the chance to lead the Bible study as a sub. “How much
time do I have?” The leader looked confused. “Uh, whatever you need.” Kevin
confidently said he would take forty minutes. I furrowed my eyebrows, wondering
why he was so picky about the timing.
Thursday night came, and I sat in the coffee shop with about
6-7 others, not sure what to expect. Kevin passed out a packet to everyone at
7pm sharp. For forty minutes, I listened intently as the nice, quiet kid
preached to each one of us sitting around that table. He talked about the
greatness of God throughout creation, and with every word I became more
convinced of God’s character and absolute control in our lives. Kevin’s words
were filled with passion and direction, and he took us all on a journey that
rendered me speechless. I left the coffee shop in awe, hearing a side of Kevin
that I never expected. He was shaping into a person that surprised and
impressed me at every turn.
Months passed after the first blissful semester of my
college experience. A curve in the road came out of nowhere and I nearly flew
off the cliff. My relationship of three years ended, leaving me confused and
hurt. It was a respectful break-up but I didn’t know what to do next. Our trio
was ruined and I avoided the boys to protect my heart from further pain.
Dinners with friends were now awkward, and I huddled close to my best friend
Jen, wondering if she would leave me too. She didn’t. I will never forget what
she said when I complained yet again, apologizing for keeping her away from the
boys. Her short blonde hair framed her beautiful, friendly face and her eyes
didn’t betray her words. “You are more important to me than boys right now.” I
was depriving her of memories, yet she chose our friendship instead. I was
guilt-ridden, wondering if she were in my position… would I have been as kind
to her? I honestly didn’t know.
But the stupid thing was, Kevin stayed on my mind.
Constantly. Each morning I woke up and wondered when I would see him that day.
Maybe I wouldn’t talk to him, but I wanted desperately to see him; even just
the back of his head in chapel. It took a few months for him to send an email,
telling me that he missed seeing me. What once was normal had disappeared, and
I was comforted to know that it affected him too. The poor kid was happy
playing third wheel, and he missed our times together.
One day through email, Kevin promised to show up at the
coffee shop after basketball that night to see me. I “studied” in the balcony,
hoping that the next squeak of the door would be him, bounding up to my table
with a smile. Well, he showed up all right. His sweaty self sat right in front
of me and his blue eyes were even brighter from the exertion. When I casually
admitted that I was waiting for him, he blew me off with one sarcastic quip
that I couldn’t get past. “I am just here to get some water.” He lifted the
plastic cup to his lips and I nodded slowly. Hmm. He’s just getting water. The
sweet kid had just offended me, pushing a button that brought out something
feisty. I called him the next day and asked him to meet me outside because we
had to talk.
“You called?” He casually staggered down the steps. I was
pacing in my school clothes: dress pants and tiny heels.
“Yes. We need to talk about what happened last night.” I was
all business. “ You can’t mess with me like that. It may not seem like a big
deal to you…” The embarrassing honesty continued, but I trusted him with my
truth. “I put myself out there for you last night and you blew me off. It’s
still early. My heart can’t handle games right now.” I paused and moved forward
with my point. “What is this thing that we are doing? What are you expecting?” He
was caught, but dealt with the question gracefully. His hands were stuffed in
his pockets and he took a second to gather his thoughts.
“I am obviously attracted to you. I see possibility. But I
am not thinking long-term.” His words dripped sweet then stung, because he had been
hijacking my thoughts since January! My emotions were clearly a little ahead of
his. So I catered to his logical side and pushed him to make a decision. “So
what should we do?” He lifted his leg and propped it on the stone bench, hands
still in his pockets. He looked into the distance. “Let’s just hang out by
ourselves. We’ve never done that before, so let’s give it a try and see what
happens.” As much as I liked the idea of spending some time together, I knew
that it was risky, given my past relationship with his best friend. Our school
was small, and the status of couples was always a hot topic. We wouldn’t be
able to hide from them for long. “Alright, deal.” He smiled, and I felt better
knowing that we at least had clear direction. “Wanna go to dinner?” I nodded,
and we bravely walked into the unknown together.
We may not have fallen in love at first sight, but two weeks
of one-on-one was enough to prove that we had something special. We spent a Monday
night in the library, a Thursday night in the coffee shop, and even two hours
standing in the rain. We talked about our families, our hometowns, our loves
and hates, college, our faith… the questions on our mind were answered, and
each discussion confirmed our growing and very personal connection.
May 8th, 2008 marked our first official date off
campus. The only reason it was declared a date was because Kevin bought food:
Pringles and Propel. (I am a cheap date). We walked around Coolidge Park, sat
on a blue bench and looked at the moon.
We knew in just a few days we would be writing “Have a good
summer!” in each other’s yearbooks. We had no idea it would be our first of
three long summers apart.
We spent the summer separately ministering, scattered across
several states; but our nation’s Independence Day was circled on the calendar.
We were both scheduled to be in Atlanta, Georgia and Kevin wanted me to meet
his family. The night before July 4th, I made a strict, no-nonsense,
all business list. I was so dead serious about figuring out if this thing with
Kevin was the real deal. The possibility of love again scared me, and I still
carried the weight of a broken relationship. I didn’t want to drag Kevin into
something that I couldn’t emotionally handle.
I had to know if I was going to marry this Georgia boy or
not. Because if I didn’t have the peace of marriage, I wasn’t about to set
myself up for a second heartbreak.
July 4th was a beautiful day. My pink v-neck was thin
because of the Georgia heat, and my white shorts were simple and playful. I
shut the back door behind me and scampered down the steep hill, careful not to
slip on the dried pine needles. Kevin waited for me in the parking lot, and I
met his family. We all drove to Red Top Mountain State Park for a picnic lunch
and hiking. Kevin took me on a walk through the park, and we took our first
picture together. We climbed down stairs to the beach and spent a few minutes
watching the sun glint off of the water. The hours we spent that day confirmed
to both of us that our prayers were answered.
On August 13th, 2008, Kevin asked me to be his
co-pilot; his girlfriend. I was anxious to start making memories together and
of course accepted his request. What started out as a new taboo couple on
campus, turned into what was supposed to happen all along. Who would have
thought?
From that point on, we knew we were going to get married.
Couples probably shouldn’t talk about that early in their dating period, but we
broke that rule without a care. The wedding date was set for ASAP, mainly
graduation. College was busy, stressful, and emotionally exhausting. Our dating
life consisted of eating dinner in the cafeteria with friends, sitting in
church or chapel together-(when I wasn’t working), playing Ultimate Frisbee,
and attempting to study in the library. We didn’t always have access to a car
or free time to even go off campus. College was rough to say the least, and we
both looked forward to our future together beyond school.
Our timeline was looking like December of 2010, an untimely
collision with my graduation date. After Christmas break in 2009, I dreaded
another entire year of waiting, so I crunched some numbers. I realized that it
would be cheaper to live off campus with Kevin. So that meant an early wedding.
And an early proposal. When I looked at the calendar, I didn’t see much time. I
had to put my stats in front of Kevin. Despite my Mom’s efforts to convince me
to let Kevin be a gentleman, I took matters into my own hands.
Once again at school together, we plopped down in the field
by the gym, and I started picking at the grass. This could be awkward, but I
trusted him and was confident that he would hear me out without judgment.
“Kevin, this is weird. But I figured out how much I am going to have to dish
out this Fall, and it’s cheaper for us… to live together. So that would mean a
summer wedding. Then I will only have one semester left, and I won’t have to
plan a wedding while cramming 18 credits in before Christmas.” He nodded. He
asked a few questions. Then he turned to me and said, “We should probably get engaged then.” We
hugged in agreement, and I headed back to my dorm to calm my anxious heart. Was
this really happening?
February rolled around, and Kevin was still pretty quiet
about our little deal. Unfortunately, I said yes to a weekend trip to Alabama
with my friend Summer because I was tired of keeping an open schedule for
Kevin’s proposal. But regret stung me to the core when I saw the look on
Kevin’s face when I told him my plans. “Kim, you can’t go. Sunday is the day.”
My heart plummeted and I immediately reacted in anger. College had beat us up
and heavily impacted our dating life, and this was disgusting icing on an
unfair cake dealt to both of us. We were crushed.
I approached my friend. “Summer, you can’t tell anyone… But
I need to be back on campus by Sunday so that Kevin can propose.” Her eyes
widened and she hugged me. “Kim, I’d do anything for you. It will be a quick
trip, but I will bring you back in time.” I breathed a sign of relief and
smiled. My dreams were about to come true!
So what does a guy do when his girlfriend knows he is about
to propose? He blindfolds her. With his church tie. Kevin weaved around the
back roads of Chattanooga so I wouldn’t pick up on which highway he was getting
on. (I had no clue where we were going anyway). Kevin opened the door for me
and took my hand to Red Top Mountain State Park. It was a sweet reminder of the
day that we took our first picture together, and the day we both received the
confirmation we had been waiting for.
Now, his proposal technique was tricky. Because he knew that
I knew that he was proposing, he actually “fake proposed” two times before he popped
the question. He asked me to Homecoming and Six Flags. After Six Flags, I was
dreadfully confused and we were running out of beautiful spots in the park. At
last we came up to the swimming area, but we were met with a fence. The sun was
slowly falling but it was still an hour or so until sunset. The place was empty,
and he turned to me to start his speech. He even had a reason to get down on
one knee- reminding me that he used to fake-tie-his-shoe when waiting for me to
come out of dinner. Sometimes he tied and untied his shoes for
fifteen minutes. My almost fiancé knelt down to lift a ring box from a rubber
band around his ankle. (Ouch!) He popped it open, revealing a gorgeous, diamond-studded ring and asked me to marry him. It was so beautiful, I thought it
was fake!
We heard a faint “Congratulations!” from strangers nearby. My eyes
were glued to my new ring, counting all the minuscule diamonds. He looked at me
and asked, “Do you want to go to Atlanta? It’s only a half hour drive from
here.” I called my parents and as many brothers as I could, as well as two
bridesmaids. We surprised his parents in the middle of choir practice, and
enjoyed a celebratory dinner afterwards. I came home late into the dorm that
night and my friend Summer flashed me a big smile while I flashed my ring. I
was so proud of her for keeping tight lips.
On July 30th, 2010, my favorite girls in the
world surrounded me in a back room as I opened a hand-delivered card from my
soon-to-be husband. The grueling days of waiting were over and at 6:30pm, my
Dad walked me down the aisle so I could hold the hand of my future. My
unexpected love. Kevin beamed in his borrowed white tux, and preached his own
Gospel message during the ceremony. I stood there proudly in my tight dress
trying to breathe, and I couldn’t have been more proud. He kissed me and
carried me down the aisle and made me a Patton. We hugged our guests, ate our colorful
cake, and ran underneath a bridge of arms to embark on forever together.
I didn’t know Kevin was for me. I used to scout out the Bible
college boys and check them off my list according to why I wouldn’t marry them.
The problem was, every time my mind wandered to Kevin… I couldn’t think of a
legitimate reason not to marry him. There wasn’t one. God plucked Kevin Patton
from Atlanta, Georgia, and Kim Carrel from Grand Rapids, Michigan and landed us
both at TTU. He led us, whispered truth to our hearts and struck a match of a
deep mutual love that brought us together. And with His guidance and grace, we
will never separate.
Kevin and Kim. Patton magic... 'till death do us part.
